Change In the Light Read online

  “I’m so sorry to hear that, but I’m sure she’ll be fine. What’s your name?”

  “Madeline. Daddy calls me his little Maddy.”

  “That’s so pretty. And is that same daddy the daddy to the baby your mommy’s having?”

  Little Maddy gave her such an odd look, Rachel decided to assume the best. After an awkward pause during which the little girl continued to stare at her, Rachel glanced up and down the hall. “Are you, er, alone?”

  “Grandma’s supposed to be watching us, but Matt came in and told her Mommy’s not doing well, so she left us in the room and went to see her. She said we couldn’t go on account we’re too little.”

  “Well, that’s certainly true. Which room were you in?”

  Madeline pointed at a door a few feet away and then lifted the book in her hand. “I want someone to read to me.”

  Rachel hesitated. Some inborn instinct she’d never felt before urged her to take care of this child. What if she fell down the stairs? What if she electrocuted herself? What if? What if? Rachel had spent far too much of her own childhood alone to be able to turn away from this child, who so desperately needed an adult at the moment.

  She offered her hand. “Let’s go. I’ll read to you.” Little Maddy slid her smaller hand into Rachel’s and led her down the hall.

  *

  “What did you say?” Josh asked the older female shifter.

  “There’s a human woman asleep in the bed with Maddy.”

  A human woman. Rachel. “What do you mean, asleep in the bed with Maddy? What bed?”

  Carmen waved at the door. “I left the pups in the room you offered us. Teddy was asleep, and Maddy was watching television. I figured she would be asleep too, by the time I returned after checking on Kim. Which she was. And there’s a human woman in there with her.”

  Josh rubbed his eyes and glanced at his watch. It was nearly midnight. He should have taken Rachel home hours ago, or at the very least, asked Matt to do it. But he’d been too busy trying to fix everything that had gone wrong while he’d been languishing in Rachel’s arms for the last week and a half. Not to mention stressing over Kim, whose whelping had neither progressed nor gotten any easier since he arrived.

  Wondering what the hell Carmen was talking about, he strode out of the small sitting room attached to the room in which Kim was whelping, and headed down the hall to the room Carmen indicated. The elder female shifter followed in his wake. He opened the door to one of the many guest bedrooms and found not two but three bodies curled up in the bed. Little Maddy, clutching a blanket to her chest, one hand resting on the arm of the woman lying next to her. On the other side of the bed was her brother, two-year-old Teddy, snuggled protectively within the crook of the arm of the redheaded woman lying between them.

  Rachel.

  For a moment, all he saw was her, and what he imagined his own children would look like. His future. No—his fantasy, since it wasn’t a future he could ever have. He shook his head and continued to watch them sleep, even after Carmen whispered to him.

  “Such beautiful hair.”

  “Yeah.” He had no other response, until Carmen started firing questions at him.

  “Why is she here? Do you know her? How did she get in here? She doesn’t appear to be dangerous, but I still don’t understand how she ended up in here, sleeping with my grandpups.”

  “I brought her here,” Josh said on a resigned sigh. “She was with me when Matt called to tell me about Kim. It was easier to bring her here than to take her home first.”

  Carmen smacked his arm. “She’s human.”

  He rubbed the offended spot. “I’m aware of that. She also obviously took care of your grandpups for you. Look at how they’re both cuddled against her. There’s no fear there.”

  Carmen made a harrumphing noise, but before Josh could further argue his point, Gus came charging down the hall. “She’s worse,” he said without preamble, not even bothering to lower his voice. “Josh, do something.”

  What the hell was he supposed to do? The midwife had been with Kim since she began whelping. Other than taking her to a human hospital—which had its own risks—he was at a loss.

  Wait—no, he wasn’t.

  “Lightbearers.” He snapped his fingers. “That’s it. They can save her. One of their healers. Where’s Matt?”

  “Right here,” Matt said, hurrying up the stairs from the main level. “What do you need?”

  “The coterie.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket. “I’ll text Tanner, tell him you’re on your way and ask him if he can send one of his healers back with you. They can help her. They saved the Lightbearer princess and Tanner’s pup from dying.”

  Carmen made a strangled noise and shoved her fist into her mouth. Matt nodded and turned around and ran down the stairs. He flung open the front door and disappeared into the night, leaving the door wide open, as he’d shifted into the form of a bird and was unable to close it. Carmen hurried down the stairs to push it closed for him.

  “Josh?”

  The sleepy voice distracted him from the text he had been sending. He glanced up from his phone, and looked into the beautiful, confused eyes of a now awake Rachel.

  *

  Were they talking in code? Nothing they said made sense. Lightbearers? Coterie? Healers? If the woman attempting to give birth in a room down the hall was having that much difficulty, why didn’t someone take her to a hospital?

  She watched Josh approach the bed. The two other men who had been standing in the hall had both left, as well as the older woman who she guessed was Maddy and Teddy’s grandmother.

  “Hey, sleepyhead,” he whispered. His smile was tight. He was under so much stress. She wished she could take at least some of it away. If they were at her apartment, away from all of this, she knew she could. She knew he would confide in her, at least somewhat, and they would laugh and joke and he would eventually let go of what was bothering him and relax. But here, she wasn’t sure. She had the impression he didn’t want the other people around him to know what their relationship was. Considering what it really was, that was for the best. Unfortunately, that meant she couldn’t help alleviate any of his stress, at least not the way she would have liked.

  “The children. They said their grandmother left them to go be with their mom. Maddy came out into the hall, looking for someone to read to her. She said her brother’s name is Teddy. I didn’t want to leave them alone, so I came in to read to her. Teddy woke up and started fussing, so I rocked him back to sleep. And then Maddy and I kept reading. And I guess we fell asleep.” She covered her yawn with her hand and stretched.

  “You—you took care of my grandpups?”

  Grandpups?

  The older woman appeared in the doorway, looking at Rachel as if she were an alien species or something.

  Rachel shrugged. “It wasn’t a big deal. I didn’t have anything else to do. And they’re great kids.”

  The woman’s gaze darted from child to child and then to Josh. “They are great kids,” she said, her eyes wide.

  “Carmen, this is Rachel. She’s my, er, a friend of mine. Rachel, Carmen is Maddy and Teddy’s grandmother.”

  Rachel gently slid out from between the two sleeping children and stood up, walking over to shake Carmen’s hand. “Nice to meet you. How is your daughter?”

  “My daughter?”

  Rachel waved at the bed. “Their mother. Maddy said she’s having a baby. She kept calling it ‘whelping’.” She chuckled. “Clearly, she likes her animal books. And absorbs everything that is read to her.”

  Carmen’s eyes couldn’t possibly get any larger. She blinked at Josh, who studied Rachel as if she’d done something much more spectacular than read to two young children until they fell asleep.

  “Oh my gosh, look at the time,” Rachel exclaimed. “I have to get up for work in six hours.”

  She watched Josh’s gaze shift from her to Carmen and back again. “Do you—do you want to stay here? I’ll take
you home to change in the morning. Hopefully, we’ll have some good news by then.”

  Rachel fought the blush she could feel staining her cheeks. “Um…sure.” She wondered if he meant for her to sleep in his bed. She certainly hoped so.

  “Carmen, are you going to stay in here with the kids, or do you want your own room?”

  “I suppose we should have our own room. Ted is on his way with an overnight bag, and I’m sure he’d like to stay, if you’ll let us both?”

  “Of course,” Josh replied. “Why don’t you and Ted stay right next door to the kids, so you can hear them if they wake? I’ll take Rachel to her room, and then I’ll meet you back at Kim’s suite.”

  Carmen nodded and bent over the bed, tucking the blankets more securely around the children. Josh placed his hand on the small of Rachel’s back and nudged her toward the door.

  “Thank you.” Carmen’s softly spoken words caused Rachel to stop before leaving the room.

  “Of course,” she said sincerely, and then she allowed Josh to lead her away from the worried grandmother and her two grandchildren.

  Grandpups.

  * * * *

  After only one night—well, a few hours, at any rate—in Josh’s luxurious, king-sized bed, Rachel didn’t know how she would ever sleep in her own bed again. She hadn’t realized how old and uncomfortable it had gotten, since that was all she’d ever known. Even when she had gone home with other guys, she never spent the night, so her opinion of their beds was limited to a brief, usually active period of time.

  Last night, she’d spent those few hours alone. At least, she assumed she had. When she woke after the alarm on her phone went off at six-fifteen, she saw Josh standing near a set of French doors leading out onto a private, wooden balcony. He turned around when she sat up and stretched, and she noticed he wore the same clothing he’d had on yesterday.

  “Did you get any sleep at all?” she asked as she climbed out of bed and walked over to hug him. He wrapped her in his arms and held her tightly, as if he was afraid she might disappear.

  “I think I dozed in the chair over there at one point. But no, not really.”

  “Why didn’t you come to bed?”

  One side of his mouth lifted into a brief, almost apologetic smile. “You’re too much of a distraction, even asleep. I needed to be alert, ready for—” He hesitated, “—anything.”

  “I’m so sorry.”

  “Don’t be. I’m the one who should be sorry. I never should have pulled you into my problems.”

  The tone of his voice sent chills down her spine. She shivered and he squeezed her more tightly. She had an ominous feeling about what he intended to say next. The Prick and his dire warnings popped into her head. It occurred to her that she had been successful at the job he’d forced her into. Josh’s association, or club or whatever it was, was falling apart at the seams, thanks to him having spent every non-working moment for the past week and a half with her.

  As guilty as she felt, she didn’t want to let him go, which was what she suspected he was about to suggest. Whatever else he may be, the man had integrity, and he knew it was time to step up to the plate, to do right by this group of people he had more than once referred to as a “pack.”

  “Can I help? Is there anything I can do?” she asked, feeling the need to offer, and not because of her fear of The Prick. She wanted to help him, to support him. It wasn’t exactly what she was supposed to be doing, but right now she was more concerned for Josh than afraid of The Prick.

  He sighed and rested his chin on top of her head. “I wish. But no, unfortunately. Why don’t you get dressed and I’ll take you home?”

  She didn’t want to go home. But what other choice did she have? If he wouldn’t accept her help, she couldn’t very well force herself on him. Reluctantly, she dragged herself out of his embrace and headed into the bathroom. Fifteen minutes later, they walked side by side through the suite. Josh’s phone buzzed and he paused to glance at the screen, and then he swore.

  “What is it?” Rachel asked.

  “They’re here.”

  “Who?”

  “The heal—er—we—I asked some, um, holistic medical doctors to see to Kim. It’s better for her than taking her to a human hospital.”

  Human hospital?

  “I need to go greet them, let them know what’s going on. And it can’t wait any longer. Kim is barely holding on at this point.” The look in his eye was pained, mingled with frustrated. “Come with me. I’ll get Matt to take you home.”

  He led her out of the suite, down the hall to the double staircase that ended in the grand foyer. There was a great deal of commotion at the bottom of the stairs. Rachel recognized Matt, but there was a small group of other people she hadn’t seen before, although a few she thought looked vaguely familiar from her time working at the hotel.

  There were three people in the center of the group, and two in particular—beautiful blonde women wearing elegant dresses that appeared to literally sparkle—who seemed to have captured everyone else’s attention. The man by their side, a handsome hulk of male who was nearly as attractive as Josh, held an infant carrier in one hand, and kept his arm protectively wrapped around the shoulders of the shorter of the two women. While he appeared to be anticipating some sort of threat, the woman under his arm smiled widely, greeting everyone warmly and offering to shake hands all around. The other woman was just as friendly and welcoming. It appeared as if everyone was curious about them yet afraid to touch the hands they offered to shake.

  “Are they from a foreign country?” Rachel wondered out loud.

  “You could say that,” Josh replied. “Stay here. I’ll send Matt up in a minute. He’ll take you out the side entrance. It’ll be easier that way.”

  Rachel forced herself to ignore the pang of hurt his words caused. What right did she have to expect anything from him, but especially for him to treat her like she meant something, like she wasn’t just his side piece? Because that’s what she was—and it was of her own volition. She’d deliberately pursued him, had purposely coaxed their relationship into what it was—a thoroughly enjoyable, regular sexual encounter. Fuck buddies. That’s what her mother used to call her dealer, whenever he paid a visit and then spent the night, although even back then, Rachel had known their relationship was more than that. Her mother slept with him because he fed her habit, and he slept with her because she would do whatever the hell he wanted her to do.

  Before he started down the stairs, Josh twisted his hand in the back of her dress. She looked up at him, and her heart lurched at the look of pain on his face.

  “I swear, Rachel, this isn’t what you think it is. I’m not embarrassed by you, and believe me when I tell you I would love to introduce you to the entire damn pa—association—as my girlfriend. I just can’t. Not right now. They aren’t—they’re—they don’t handle change well. And there are some things going on, things that have nothing at all to do with you or what you mean to me—”

  She lifted her hand and placed two fingers over his lips, effectively cutting off his impassioned speech. “That is all very sweet, but it’s okay. Really. I understand. I’m not upset.”

  He squeezed her hand. “You don’t understand, but I’m glad you aren’t upset. And I promise to make this up to you, next time I can get away.”

  “I’ll start thinking up creative ways you can beg my forgiveness,” she teased.

  He smiled and brought her hand to his lips, kissed the fingertips, then let it go. “Let me go grab Matt, so you won’t be late to work.”

  She watched him hurry down the stairs, her vision blurred by the tears swimming in her eyes. He said the word girlfriend.

  I hate myself right now.

  Chapter 7

  Amazing how many shifters appeared as if out of the woodwork, when they sensed something interesting going on. And having Lightbearers visit their pack master’s home was certainly interesting. Not just any Lightbearers, either, but one of them was their fr
igging princess. And the half-shifter pup she’d whelped with Tanner Lyons, who once had been the heir to the largest shifter pack in all of North America.

  “Tanner. Thanks for coming on such short notice. Olivia, Alexa, it’s a pleasure to see you both again. Olivia, I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but you look far better than you did the last time I saw you.” That had been this past spring, when she’d been going through her own difficult whelping. As far as any of them knew, she was the first Lightbearer in history to whelp a half-shifter pup. Prior to her and Tanner falling in love and mating, shifters and Lightbearers had been mortal enemies, as shifters had believed to kill a Lightbearer was to inherit her magic.

  The princess laughed and every eye in the room began to glow slightly. Thank the fates he’d abruptly changed his mind and decided to leave Rachel at the top of the stairs. Kind of hard to hide a bunch of glowing eyes. And glowing beings, he noted, looking at Olivia and Alexa. Their skin sparkled as if they were made of a thousand tiny diamonds. Tanner had told him once that humans didn’t notice the sparkle. Josh sure as hell hoped not.

  “You brought your son, too?” Josh peered at the infant sleeping in the carrier Tanner held securely in his left hand.

  “I’m the food station, which means he’s sort of attached to my, er, hip for the time being. And Mr. Overprotective here wasn’t willing to leave me at home.”

  “Nor would he allow me to come alone,” Alexa added, rolling her eyes for emphasis.

  There were several appreciative chuckles from the crowd of shifters that had formed since the small group walked into the house. Josh hoped that boded well. He hadn’t been lying to Rachel when he said his pack did not handle change well. Although unfortunately, he suspected they would more easily accept a Lightbearer than a human.

  “I can’t believe they really exist,” one of his pack mates commented in an awed voice. Josh could understand his shock. A year ago, when Tanner sat in his office and informed him he lived within a hidden and magically protected Lightbearer’s coterie, and that coterie was only a few hours northwest of Josh’s own pack, he had hardly been able to believe, either. Until Tanner rescued Olivia from his own father, no Lightbearers had been seen for five hundred years. The general assumption was they’d gone extinct. Josh now knew that not only did they exist, but their warded community boasted more than two thousand of their kind.